This is a word that I have tried my best to avoid using, specifically in the work place. Overtime, I started to realize how frequently people used it (ahem - and women more than men!), unconsciously almost, and more importantly, I started to notice what the implications were for using it.
The S word: Sorry.
Think of how many times in a day you use the word "sorry". The bad part is, you probably can't even count the amount of times, because you use it even when you don't realize you do.
I have worked in a male dominated work environment my entire career, which has been the last 6 years. In those 6 years, I have generally been one of very few woman, and also very young (23 years old when I started working in the corporate banking world). HOW can someone take me seriously when I'm constantly discrediting myself with the word "sorry"?.
Phrases I hear all the time: "Sorry i missed that document", "sorry i missed that number", "sorry you didn't get that report on time", "sorry i was late", "sorry that i didn't have those materials you needed", or just "sorry" for anytime something goes wrong.
Ask yourself this - when you use the word "sorry" at work, are you actually sorry?
Do you actually feel the empathy of the word "sorry"?..... I HIGHLY doubt it. It probably only makes you feel better in that split second, and then you feel so small afterwards. The only thing the above phrases have in common is that they're looking for sympathy, looking for forgiveness, looking for understanding, or looking for consideration. BUT WHY? For those of you reading this, I don't know what your job is, but I have a feeling it's like mine in that your job is to solve problems and we're paid to solve problems. Your job is not just to constantly point out problems and make it seem like it's your personal fault, that you're personally sorry. Because you're not, and you don't deserve to be.
The only times you should say sorry is if you spill you coffee all over someone, or if you step on someone's foot. I'm confident you'll feel the meaning behind the word "sorry" then. Otherwise, swallow that S word back and think of something productive to say instead!
What if for that first phrase that I wrote above, it was a team effort? It wasn't even your fault! but you said "sorry" anyways? The person you now apologized to only hears that it's your fault. Try to observe the most successful people in your company, and notice how many times they apologize for anything. I bet you will come up empty.
Don't be the problem, be the problem solver.
If you make a mistake - THAT'S OK. we're all human. stand tall and accept the mistake, don't apologize for it. You're going to feel that S word on the tip of your tongue, but don't let it out. Instead, come up with a solution. If you make a mistake, figure out a way so you don't make it again, and instead of responding to you boss with "I must have missed that number, sorry about that", instead say "Ok thanks for catching that, I'll go make that change right now and I'll double check the rest of the numbers". Then, instead of forcing your boss to respond with an awkward "don't worry about it" as his response for your slip of the S word, your boss can now respond with "great, appreciate you taking a look".
So the moral of the story is, unless you accidentally trip your boss in the hallway, do not use the S WORD. Respect yourself, have pride in your work, and know that you, along with all of us, are doing the best we can!
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